I Cry
by navycorpsman
Summary: He lost count of the times he cried for her, both silently and out loud. Follow up on MAYBE TOMORROW


**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, because if I did…I'd have Ray and Neela already married.**

**The song is I CRY by Westlife**

**Spoilers: Post season 12, possible season 13 spoilerish…**

**Content Warning: None…right now…**

**Summary: ****He lost count of the times he cried for her, both silently and out loud.**

**Follow up on MAYBE TOMORROW**

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**_You said goodbye _**

**_I fell apart _**

**_I fell from all we had _**

**_To I never knew _**

_**I needed you so bad** _

Ray made his way back to the roof and held on to the railing. He didn't hear Neela's footsteps, and he found himself thankful she hadn't followed him. He looked over at Lake Michigan and remembered the first time she left. He held the shirt as he watched Neela go. She got in the taxi and just left. He had bared his soul to her in the best way he knew how and she said nothing. **Nothing. Not even so much as a 'I know. You're my best friend too.'.** Ray thought to himself, almost bitter and angry at her.

**_You need to let things go _**

**_I know, you told me so _**

**_I've been through hell _**

**_To break the spell_**

He watched her marry the wrong guy. He watched her fall apart after she got word he had been killed in Iraq. She opened up on the roof, allowing him to see her tears. He knew he was the only one that saw them. But once again, he reached out to her, to help her and she pushed him away. He gave the excuse to himself that it was the grief. After all, she pushed a lot of people away that day.

But to not talk to him the day of the funeral? Then to ignore him when she came back to work? He felt betrayed by her. As the wind softly blew, he felt hot tears forming.

**_Why did I ever let you slip away _**

**_Can't stand another day without you _**

**_Without the feeling _**

**_I once knew _**

**_I cry silently _**

**_I cry inside of me _**

_**I cry hopelessly**_

He lost count of the times he cried for her, both silently and out loud. No one ever saw the tears. He showed her some earlier. She had to know she hurt him and hurt him deeply.

**_Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again _**

**_I cry _**

**_Cause you're not here with me _**

**_Cause I'm lonely as can be _**

**_I cry hopelessly _**

_**Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again**_

He wiped some tears away. He loved her, but he couldn't allow himself to feel it anymore. He was too hurt.

"You okay?" Abby's voice scared Ray.

"I'm fine." Ray lied, never facing Abby.

"You're lying." Abby leaned against the railing next to him. "Why aren't you talking to Neela?"

**_If you could see me now _**

**_You would know just how _**

**_How hard I try _**

**_Not to wonder why _**

**_I wish I could believe in something new _**

_**Oh please somebody tell me it's not true (oh girl)**_

Ray looked over at Abby. "She shut me out of her life, Abby."

Abby tucked stray strands of hair behind her ear. "She really loves you, Ray."

**_I'll never be over you _**

**_Why did I ever let you slip away _**

**_Can't stand another day without you _**

**_Without the feeling _**

**_I once knew _**

**_I cry silently _**

**_I cry inside of me _**

**_I cry hopelessly _**

**_Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again _**

**_I cry _**

**_Cause you're not here with me _**

**_Cause I'm lonely as can be_**

Ray quietly laughed. "She has an odd way of showing it. Shutting me out of her life does not dictate love, Abby. It dictates disgust."

**_I cry hopelessly _**

**_Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again _**

**_If I could have you back tomorrow _**

**_If I could lose the pain and sorrow _**

**_I would do just anything _**

**_To make you see you still love me_**

Abby sighed. "She's afraid, Ray."

"Afraid of what, Abby? Because Neela's not the kind…"

"She has no control over her feelings, Ray." Abby interjected.

**_I cry silently _**

**_I cry inside of me _**

_**I cry hopelessly**_

Ray looked at Abby. "And I can control what I feel towards her?" He was aghast. "I never intended to fall in love with her, Abby."

"And she never meant to fall in love with you, either."

Ray wiped a tear. "I'm just not the 'safe' choice."

**_I cry silently _**

**_I cry inside of me _**

**_I cry hopelessly _**

**_Cause you're not here with me_**

Abby smiled. "You're more than the safe choice, Ray. She knows that. She's just used to being in control of things. Michael was, of course, what she thought she needed." She looked up at Ray, who rolled his eyes. "The key word, Ray, is thought. She knew he wasn't what she needed."

Ray looked at Abby. "If you came up here to make me feel better, you failed." Ray walked away., the tears strongly burning his eyes. Neela walked away from him and what could have been. What he wanted to be and now whatever there may have been was gone.

**_I cry _**

**_Cause I'm lonely as can be _**

**_I cry hopelessly _**

**_Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again_**


End file.
